Some things you will NEVER hear O.P. say.
No matter how much he's had to drink or
how far from the South he wanders. 
Duct tape won't fix at.
Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
Gimme the small bag of pork rinds.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
I'll just have the grapefruit,
instead of the biscuits and gravy.
Wrestling's fake.
I'm a vegetarian.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Here's a episode of Hee Haw I haven't seen!
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Honey.
I'm quit'n after this cigarette.
I'll take Shakespeare for $1,000 Alex.